So the husband bought another motorbike. And he's hidden his old one in his shed. (Does he really think I won't notice?)
What's interesting is how upset I got again...(I foamed at the mouth when he bought his first one in May - thinking it would take him away from the family/how dare he spend all that money on just himself/yada, yada, yada.....)
So I got over myself and came to the conclusion that he can do what he wants with his money/his life/his time...and would just focus on my own enjoyment (Ok, I was slightly flouncy about it but I was doing my best)
He's now bought the 2nd motorbike and I am still foaming at the mouth so something's bothering me....
So I did get out Byron Katie's worksheets (Time magazine calls her 'spiritual innovator for 21st Century www.thework.com)
I used the 4 question model that she uses to really get to the crux of my motorcycle angst.
So Byron gets you to name the thought that is bothering you....and I'm ashamed to say.....that my thought was:
He should have spent the money on me! (me? a princess? what do you mean?)
So let's get to work. Byron challenges you to follow a 4 question enquiry into your stressful thoughts:
Question 1: Is that true?
(should my husband spend his money on me?)
Yes, sometimes, why not? (my arms are folded defiantly)
Question 2: Can you be absolutely certain that it is true?
YOu know what? no. Why on earth should he spend his money on me?
Question 3: How do you react when you think that thought? (he should spend the money on me...)
I feel resentful, angry, hard-done-by, like a victim.
Question 3a. Can you think of a stress-free reason to keep that thought? Er, no.
Question 4: Who would I be without that thought?
Calm, excited for him, excited that I have a husband whose interesting enough to buy a motorbike, hell, two motorbikes.
As ever, when I do this four question enquiry, I find myself in 180 degree place from where I started.
It's a brilliant tool for finding the missing peace when you've lost the plot.
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