The Big Peace

The Biology of Belief

Big Peace December Day 7

Maybe it wasn't the cats. The cold that I've been attempting to shake off is back with a vengeance this morning. More puffy eyes. So I have left Charlie (and his two friends that have been on a sleepover last night) to trash the house while I lie in bed and read The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipman. (Hay House)

My god! Have you read this book?! Bruce Lipman is a renowned cell biologist who explains in (fairly) simple scientific language how the cells of our body are affected by our thoughts. Lipman describes the precise molecular pathways through which this occurs.

This delights me because although I've always know that our beliefs affect our bodies aka Louise Hay and You can Heal Your LIfe....I just didn't know HOW that worked. The Biology of Belief explains how.

The science is great but ultimately I love Lipman's epilogue and conclusion that it is the power of love and acceptance that will heal you and the world. He urges: "Joining communities of like-minded people who are working towards advancing human civilisation by realizing that Survival of The Most Loving is the only ethic that will ensure not only a healthy personal life but also a healthy planet."

At the end, Lipman recommends something called Pscyhe-K (www.psyche-K.com) , which his friend and colleague psychotherapist Rob Williams has created - a process which promises to help you reprogramme your subsconcious mind. I've never heard of this process - has anyone else? Will research and get back to you and will see if I can get an interview with Dr Bruce and Rob Williams.

IN the meantime, I've been on their website and thought it might be brilliant to experiment with the exercise they give us on identifying beliefs. Martha Beck - who I went to see this year - also worked with this technique so I absolutely know (believe!) it works on accessing and realising our subsconscious beliefs.

Below is copy and exercise from Rob Williams' website Psyche-K. You will need a partner to work through this exercise. Click through to the video and let me know how you get on and I'll see if I can get on to Rob Williams/Bruce Lipman in the next few days and get some exercises to do once we have identified our beliefs.

"Your self-esteem profoundly influences how others view you. If your self-esteem is high, other people will tend to see you that way also. However, if your self-esteem is low, others will respond accordingly with a lack of confidence and trust in you. Essentially, your beliefs (especially the subconscious ones) are teaching the world how to treat you. The way people treat you is a reflection of those subconscious beliefs. Consequently, if you want to change the way others behave toward you, you need to change the self-sabotaging beliefs that are causing the undesirable treatment. As the saying goes, “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t expect others to.”

Another aspect of self-esteem is the concept of unworthiness. Some world religions teach us that we are fundamentally unworthy. Others teach that life is endless suffering and to simply embrace it as an inevitable consequence of being in the world. Perhaps the nuances of these beliefs are understood by theologians in a way that doesn’t lead to the conclusion that “life’s a bitch and then you die,” but to the average person that conclusion is hard to escape. More often than not it leads to a deep sense of hopelessness and helplessness. And to add insult to injury, you are not worthy of having it be different! If you want to be free of the limitations of unworthiness in your life, be sure that your subconscious beliefs support that goal.

Click here to discover if your subconscious mind supports these self-esteem enhancing beliefs.

Sample Beliefs:

1. I deeply appreciate and accept myself.

2. I love myself unconditionally.

3. I deserve the very best life has to offer.

4. I am confident and self-assured.

5. I am proud of my results and comfortable with my successes and my failures.

6. I am a good person.

7. I do my best and my best is good enough

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IN the meantime, I will be visualising and working on the beliefs that I can be free of this cold in the next couple of days! I'll let you know how I get on.

Baggy eyes and a power ranger detox

Day 6: Big Peace December

I woke up with baggy eyes this morning. Unfortunately, not from weeping with joy all night. I picked my son Charlie up last night from somone who has cats. I'm definitely a dog person, not a cat person. My eyes swell up like golfballs when I spend time with cats.

So I'm lying there this morning looking a bit deformed- my son screamed when he saw me - that cheered me up no end - and I was thinking about what the big peace task of today could be.

After watching a bit of Indiana Jones through slitted eyes in bed with Charlie, I started to notice the clutter around my bedroom - a wobbly pile of self help books, magazines, my son's power rangers and last night's uneaten mince pie.

I know the Big Peace is all about changing our thoughts but you know what, changing my sleeping environment may help too?

So I have followed this exercise (see below) from my hero Martha Beck (author of Steering by Starlight and all round amazing, funny and inspirational guru) and taken all my self-help books back to the bookshelves, thrown out my Hello! magazines (my guilty pleasure) - my  bedside table is the only time you'll see Jordan hanging out with Deepak Chopra (er, probably...)

I've hoovered behind the bed, I've got a candle, some flowers in a vase that a lovely client gave to me on Thursday and feel at peace with the world. And without Power Rangers digging me in the bum all night, I'll probably sleep better soon.

So today's task is a physical one. This is taken from the glorious Steering By Starlight by Martha Beck.

Choose an area of your house that you like the least. Now think of some other space that you adore – maybe a room you’ve seen with your own eyes or a house you saw in a film or a place in nature. (For me, this is that amazing beach house in the Hamptons in As Good at Find with Jack Nicolson and Diane Keaton) a pictoral image that reminds you of this place and put it somewhere you can see it. Now think of three adjectives that describe the beautiful place. Is it serene, gorgeous, creative? Now go and find some physical object you can bring to your home – be it paint colour, piece of fabric, pillow or photograph that can be described by at least one of the adjectives and put it in the spot in your home that you dislike. Now throw something away from that spot that is less beautiful or inspiring. Repeat the steps above until you love the space you once hated.

Your Big Peace mantra

Big Peace December Day 5

Yesterday we were experimenting in focussing differently. How easy was
it to adopt a different belief system? Was it fun? Were you
resistant?

Our beliefs about life and ourselves form and then come true for us
when we find evidence to support them. By 'acting as if', we start
creating evidence to prove this new belief about ourselves is right.

What we focus on expands. If you believe that you're not good enough,
we constantly look for evidence to prove ourselves right.

Ask yourself:

What is the belief system that will bring you contentment?

What is the belief system that will soothe your soul?

What would be the soothing antidote to all those negative and nasty beliefs about yourself and life? E.g. I don't have to be giving/doing/proving
myself to be worthwhile, I can just be me.

What could be your Big Peace belief that you could adopt as your
personal mantra?

Write it down and post it where you can see it for
the rest of December.

What you focus on expands

You're not perfect but you're lovely

Day 4 Big Peace December

Yesterday we were exploring what you believe about yourself and life.

Today, I'm asking you to explore a new belief system - just for one
day.

Choose one of the following beliefs/thoughts and try it on for size
(or make one up, if you're feeling inspired) and act as if it were
true for the next 24 hours.

Make it your minute by minute/hourly mantra.

Ask yourself if you really believed this - how would you act
differently, talk differently, walk differently, think differently? 

Ok...choose one of the below and play with a new reality for 24 hours:

1.    I'm great.
2.    I'm a very attractive human being.
3.    I'm not perfect but I'm lovely.
4.    This too shall pass.
5.    This present is exactly as it's supposed to be.
6.    I'm Ok just the way I am.
7.    I'm sexy.
8.    I'm a creative genius.
9.    I embrace change.
10.    My potential is limitless.

Enjoy yourself with this exercise.

Day 3: Big Peace December

As we talked about in day 1, our mind cannot tell the difference between real or imagined. Our mind (and our bodies) believe the stories we tell ourselves. But not sure about you, but I'm not always aware of the stories or negative beliefs that cause the stress in my life. At the Big Peace retreat last weekend, I was shocked to discover a 'no one cares about me' belief hanging around in my psyche. It was subtle but it was there.

When we have a belief, our mind is constantly searching for evidence to prove that this is true. It's the old adage that what you focus on expands. If you buy a red car, all you see is red cars. The conscious mind is on search mode, looking for evidence to prove your belief to be correct.

So what do you believe about yourself and life? Do you believe that life is wonderful, that you will always be okay, that you are priceless, that you deserve only the best and that life is easy? Do you believe that you will always be supported, land on your feet, that life is fun, that you'll always attract the best in life and life is one big party?

Or do you believe that life is hard, money is the root of all evil, all men are bastards, all women are mad, life is a struggle, men don't commit, life is a rollercoaster, all men leave, all women cheat and that you have to be bad to be rich? Do you believe you'll never make it because you're not good enough, in fact you're actually pretty worthless, oh, and you're stupid too?

What is your reality? What do you believe to be true about yourself and life? Because whatever you believe, you're right. You're right because you believe it to be true.

Quantum scientists and physicists are teaching us that our world is what we perceive it to be. Reality is simply raw, unformed data waiting to be interpreted by you, the perceiver. And scientists like Dr David Hamilton on day 1 are showing us that by changing the way we think - we can actually change our reality.

So the exercise for today is this. Figure out what you believe. Awareness is the first step, we'll talk about creating new beliefs in the coming days.

Often it's hard to identify what we believe because we've been living in that world for a long time.

Try these questions and let's see if we can winkle out an idea of what you really believe about yourself and life? Just quickly put pen to paper - don't think too hard and speed write your answers.

- What decision did you have to make to survive and thrive in your
family?

- What happens to people like you?

- What will people say about you when you are dead?

- What negative feeling do you feel most often?

- When you get this feeling, what do you believe about yourself?

- When you get this feeling, what do you believe about life?

- What do you believe about yourself to have a career like yours?

- What would you have to believe about yourself to have a
relationship history like yours?

- What would you have to believe about yourself to have a circle of
friends like yours?

- What would you have to believe about yourself, or life, for things
to be exactly as they are right now?

Put these questions and answers away for now and we'll come back to
them soon.

Big Peace December Day 2

  I got a dog last April – a beautiful little black cocker spaniel called Oscar – and he has changed my life! I’ve lost a stone (have to walk him once a day, rain or shine and it’s the only time I’ve ever stuck to a exercise regime because I have no choice), I’m getting out every day in the light – usually I’m depressed and gloomy as soon as the clocks go back so feel happier, and I’ve never known such unconditional love. I’ve got a new machine (called an emwave machine) which measures stress levels but turns green when you’re happy and unstressed and all I have to do is think about Oscar and it turns green immediately! Oscar is my ultimate de-stress secret.

I’ve made new dog-walking friends (a whole new social circle) and have whole new topics of conversations on everything from castration to the best poo bags!

There was a piece in the paper this week which said that a dog charity is urging GPs to prescribe puppies and not just pills.

A study from the University of Warwick has showed that owning a dog gives you a robust immune system and over a 10 month period have reduced levels of loneliness and depression.

“Dog owners visit their doctors less, respond better to medication, have fewer heart problems, higher self esteem, lower blood pressure and cholesterol and are less likely to suffer from depression," says Dr Roger Mugford, animal psychologist at the Animal Behaviour centre in surrey. 

Ok, Ok, I'm not suggesting you all go and buy a dog for Christmas (because we all know dogs are for life and not just Christmas - ha, ha!) But what struck me is that despite having quite a challenging year, I have felt calmer and happier than I have for a long time.

And what I've realised is that many of my new habits I've formed from owning Oscar...tie in to what William Bloom recommends. 

William Bloom is one of Britain’s top holistic teachers and author of The Endorphin Effect.

I interviewed him recently. Here's the interview if you missed it.

William studied and taught meditation for years but was thrown when people in his meditation classes said they felt just as good stroking their cat (dog/riding their motorbike/going for a lovely walk) as they did meditating.

This led Bloom to research what is now known as the ‘endorphin effect’ – that flood of natural feel-good hormones that relax you, anaesthetise pain and are responsible for a feeling of well-being.

Bloom’s research showed that are five ways you can trigger these endorphins – without meditating – to feel good instantly, no matter what is going on in your life.

So today's Big Peace task is to try one of the below and trigger some feel-good chemicals.

1. Think about someone you like or do something you like. (Make a list of things you genuinely enjoy and do more of them – this will naturally trigger a flood of endorphins)
2. Making napping your greatest skill. Or at least allow your body to slump and your body language to sink into napping body language. A 3-4 minute slump will release that flood of feel-good hormones.
3. 20 minutes of movement – it doesn’t have to be aerobic but any sustained movement for 20 minutes or more will release endorphins.
4. Connect with nature  - be it staring at a blade of grass or going for a walk in the woods. This is proven to release endorphins into the body.
5. Monitor how your body feels and give it a break – treat it as you would a hurt animal or child and gentle relax , and think loving, kind thoughts about your poor, old body. Apparently, every time we do this, endorphins flood to the rescue.

www.williambloom.com

Day 1 Big Peace December

So it’s Big Peace December. I’ve just spent all weekend at our first Big Peace yoga retreat and boy! am I ready to share what I learnt.

 

The weekend was profound. The thing that moved me beyond belief is how -  if we believe the negative script of our inner pessimist (inner critic whatever you want to call it) -  we live our lives steeped in anxiety and misery – how if we believe his ‘you’re not good/beautiful/clever/you fill in the blanks’….rant, we are imprisoned.

The good news is that it is in a prison of our own making.

 

And all we have to do is open the prison door OR just create a new reality for ourselves entirely. (And as say in my book, listen to your inner coach.)

 

I interviewed Dr David Hamilton recently (he’s the scientist who became fascinated by the Placebo effect) and author of How The Mind Can Heal The Body.

(Here’s the interview if you missed it) and he explained that the mind cannot tell the difference between real or imagined. Whatever stories we tell ourselves become true for us.

One of the studies he quotes in the book revealed that we can get fit and stronger – simply by imagining that we are. A study followed three groups and showed that the group who did not exercise, but rather thought about exercising experienced nearly the same gains in strength as the exercise group by visualising three times a week.  (The real exercises improved muscle strength by 28%, the visualisers improved by 24%) Yes, you read that right.

And that’s just fitness levels. Dr Hamilton gives study after study and case history and case history of how our thinking can induce healing, anti-ageing, losing weight – and even healing ourselves from heart disease and cancer.

On the yoga retreat this weekend, we did physical demonstrations of what happens to our bodies, our stress levels, our lives when we listen to negative stories. Then practiced over and over again with different tools on how to make the leap from listening to our inner pessimist to listening to our inner coach. We experimented with different tools on how to create new thinking and new stories which would get us to our Big Peace place.

In this month of our Big Peace December, I would love for us to create a daily practice for ourselves and try one tool per day to notice our negative stories/ thinking and create new positive, healing stories for ourselves instead. Over the last couple of years, I have interviewed some the biggest self development gurus in the world so we will be experimenting with some of the most tried and tested and most effective tools we have available to us.

At the end of this month, I would love for you to find one or two brilliant tools that work for you. I believe creating The Big Peace in our lives is a daily practice (and sometimes minute by minute practice for me!) and we just need to find a way that works for us to access that place within that can get us tuned into the radio station of our inner coach versus our inner pessimist.

Today, I want us to try a visualisation that Dr Hamilton recommends in his book. (Before you do this exercise today, try to listen to the interview that I did with him so you realise the weight of scientific evidence that shows that this works):

Visualise three times a day:

Imagine a ball of soft green, pink or white light in the centre of your brain or heart, or see it like a little candle flame. This represents your happiness. Note its size.

Now imagine a dial and turn it up. As you do this, see the light get bigger and bigger and brighter. Mentally affirm that it is a symbol of your inner strength and happiness.

Continue to turn the dial and watch the light get bigger and brighter. See it expand right out of your head or heart and throughout your entire body. See the light flow through your arteries and your veins, though your heart and your internal organs. Imagine it tickling your cells and organs and see them smile. See it flow over your skin and imagine your skin cells smiling. See yourself surrounded by this powerful light and mentally affirm that your power and happiness are great.

Try this out - I just have and found myself smiling and then the sun broke through the clouds outside my window. My god, I knew I was powerful but that powerful? Sunny days, all round then?

Speak tomorrow and let me know how you got on with this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change your life in 40 days...

I'm just about to do the Big Peace yoga retreat at the weekend. (Now sold out! sorry! You can sign up for priority notification for the next one here.)
And my wonderful yoga teacher Viv has just sent me this information about changing a habit in 40 days and thought that it was encouraging fodder for the Big Peace December ahead....

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*40 days will change a habit into a more positive one. Meditation for 40 Days

In the yogic tradition, meditations practiced for a certain number of days have a certain effect. Forty days is the minimum to break a habit and set the stage for an internal shift. One student asked me once-"Forty days in a row?!" The whole class laughed. Yes, forty days in a row…. And if that seems like a long time, in the past many spiritual masters have taken 40 years to achieve enlightenment. I imagine that all of us have done that path in other lifetimes. This lifetime, we are attempting to get quicker results, so that we can enjoy peace and happiness while still in the body.

 

* 90 days confirms the new habit in you…..

 

* 120 days allows the habit to become who you are……

 

* 1 000 days ensures that you have mastered the habit……..

 

 

Start your Big Peace now, begin with 40 days of watching your breath, the flow of the in breath and the outbreath….the natural breath

Then extend this to mental counting of the breath lengths, extending to the point where you are comfortable…if possible an equal ratio of 1:1

Then add pauses/hold at the end of the in-breath and the out-breath (these are known as kumbhaka’s)… starting with a natural pause/hold then building this up to an equal length of the in-breath and out-breath….

 

 

Enjoy and watch your life change in 40 days."

Now there's a promise. Change your life by just breathing in and out.

I will be starting Big Peace December on Monday. I'm off to the Big Peace Yoga retreat tomorrow so will be off air for a couple of days.

Suzy x

HOW NOT TO FIND THE BIG PEACE LESSON 2.

How Not to Be Peaceful Lesson 2. Compare yourself to others - be it the Joneses with a nicer car/house/spouse or jungle girl Dani Behr with a perfect body after 2 kids (really, how is that possible???) - when does comparing ourselves to others EVER bring inner peace. Even if you find yourself comparing yourself favourably ....when was being smug an emotional state to aspire to?

Big Peace December warm-up: Strive to be perfect

Today, just wanted to flag up a way of NOT finding your big peace and that's by striving to be perfect and have the script running in your head that you've got to get this (and everything right) or you will never be approved of/loved/included or respected.

Perfectionism is one of the most self-defeating strategies that you could ever adopt. It is quite simply a one-way ticket to unhappiness, stress, negativity and depression.

Perfectionism is a glorious way of setting yourself up to fail in spectacular style. It is a way to constantly affirm to yourself that 'you're no good'/not up to the mark/are failing every single day of your life.

Because generally, the perfectionist has set themselves an impossible task. Their standards are so high that they never can relax and give themselves a pat on the back. There is always, always something better they could have done. The perfectionist will focus on that tiny detail that wasn't quite right rather on the massive, amazing event/meal/report that they have just completed. 

Perfectionism is a 'survival mechanism' we learn in childhood. You learn from an early age that to be loved and approved of - to survive in the world - you must be perfect. As a child, you built a belief system that you're not good enough/clever enough/enough just as you are. Scratch any Perfectionist, and you'll usually find a little five-year-old who has decided that to be loved they must attain perfection. Perfectionism is simply a way of constantly trying to prove to the world that you are good enough. It is exhausting and self-defeating because generally no matter how hard you try you will always find yourself lacking.

The antidote? A big leap in thinking. It is letting go of the ideal of constant self-improvement and embracing the idea of self-acceptance. I call it acceptance of the 'what is'.

Let's face it, reality could probably always be better - we could be thinner, more beautiful, have more time, less stress, have a holiday planned to the Caribbean rather than Cardiff. If we thought about it hard enough, we probably could always 'do better, try harder, buy a bigger and better life.' But what if you could simply accept yourself exactly for who you are, how you're doing and what you've got right now.

Let's ponder that thought for today.....

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