The Big Peace

Growing slowly

How was Christmas day? I had the ex and the inlaws round for Christmas dinner and it was all very amicable - if a bit sad for me, at times. But I definitely felt a sense of letting go, of time moving on, of healing happening. I have spent many a Christmas day being the people pleasing martyr but this Christmas day felt very different. I was a grown up, living life as it was versus how I wanted it to be.

Am now planning a little New Year's Eve dinner  - with a Chinese theme. I've just bought some Chinese wishes - chinese lanterns that you let go into the sky - which hopefully we'll let go at midnight. I've been looking for some Chinese proverbs to give to everyone. And I loved this one:

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of standing still." 

The Big Peace practice is NOT about standing still but about growing slowly.

So just a quick question today. If you were to grow slowly today versus stand still - what would you do differently today?

Happy Christmas!

I can't work out who is more excited - charlie, me or oscar the dog.

It's Christmassssssssssssssssss! (sorry, three glasses down!)

I just would like to wish all you big peacers much love and happiness on Christmas day. I know it's been funny old year for me but you know, I'm beginning to realise that funny - be it ha ha or peculiar - can be good fun.

Just come back from the pub with my friends from the village who are funny ha, ha and I have laughed a lot.

I do love my friends and the happiness scientists are right - hanging out with our mates does make us happy. And be it the mums from the village who feed me wine and good conversation or enlightened Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now - life can offer you exactly what you need at exactly the right moment.

For Christmas day, I thought I'd share the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle:

• Consider the thought:  “nothing exists outside this present moment’ and the idea that the past and the future are illusions. After all, they only exist to the degree we focus our attention on them right now.  We create the past and the future by imagining them in the present. But we don’t even exist outside the Now.”
• Consider the thought: “To be free of time is to be free of the psychological need of past for your identity and future for your fulfilment.”
• Consider the thought: “The psychological condition of fear is often divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.”

Give yourself the present of the present today. Have a liberated, enjoyable and very merry Christmas.

Much love,

Suzy x

What are you most proud of in 2008?

Big Peace December Day 24

Oooo, it's nearly Christmas, never ever fail to get excited!
As I mentioned, I spent last night with my girlfriends, drinking far too much champagne, eating mountains of food and planning 2009. We went round the room and answered these questions and then created a vision board (lots of magazines/pictures/drawings) to create a 'vision' for what we want 2009 to feel like.

I suggest you grab yourself a glass of wine/tea/get your friends round (or do it on your own) and today answer the following:

1.    What are you MOST proud of this year?

2.    What is the most powerful thing you have learnt in 2008?

3.    Complete this sentence: I will remember 2008 as the year of……..

4.    What was your big leap in 2008?

5.    Complete this sentence: For me, 2009 will be the year of…….?

6.    Set an intention: What are your big leaps for 2009?

7.    By January 1st 2010, what do you want to have created/achieved and how do you want to feel?

8.    What three baby steps do you need to take to be who want to be 2009?

9.    If you had to create a daily Big Peace practice to keep you focussed and inspired, what would it look like?

10.   If you were brave, what would you most like to do in 2009?

Have a wonderful, wonderful Xmas eve, everyone.

Much love!

Suzy xxx

Just say f**k it.

Big Peace December Day 23

Normally, every year, just after the bonfire night fireworks have fizzled out, I start to plan Christmas. I invite the relatives, rip out ideas from magazines for unusual, thoughtful gifts, order in some logs to roast the chestnuts on and get really excited about the perfect, fantasy Christmas I’m going to have.

Fast forward to Boxing Day, and there I am, back in reality, tense, snarling, martyred, always bitterly disappointed. It’s the same every Christmas, but by the time the fireworks go up ten months later, I’ve forgotten the pain, only to repeat the same old pattern all over again.

Last year, my brother announced on Christmas morning that he’d ‘forgotten to do his Christmas shopping’ and my husband got man-flu and refused to get off the sofa for days. He somehow managed to stagger to the pub on Christmas Day with my brother and didn’t get back ‘til the turkey was as dry and pinched as my face. That was when something finally snapped. ‘F**k this and F**k Christmas,’ I was heard to slur over the turkey brandishing a rather big carving knife.

What I didn’t know at the time, was that I was having a spiritual epiphany. The wonderful John C Parkin (who has agreed to come and talk at the Big Peace Day....happening late April...watch this space) says that ”F*** it” is the perfect Western expression of the Eastern spiritual philosophy of letting go, giving up and finding real freedom by realising that things don't matter so much (if at all).

John has developed a philosophy that’s about getting what you really want by rejecting what you ‘should’ do and doing what you want to. ‘And Christmas, with those months of self-imposed angst and self sacrifice, is a perfect time to start,’ he says.

I will talk more about John and his book F**t It, the Ultimate Spiritual Way in the coming months.

But for now, here are John's brilliant rules for the perfect F**t It Xmas (try all, one or none for today's exercise)

How to have the Christmas you never knew you wanted

1. Stop being a martyr. ‘Be selfish. Being selfless is a lose-win situation,’ says Parkin. ‘You end up getting pissed off and that’s no good in the end for the person who seems to be winning either.’
2. Stop clinging to how you want things to be. Make a list of your ideas, beliefs and expectations of Christmas. Ask yourself – would Christmas be so terrible if none of this happened?
3. Accept Christmas for how it is. Stop moaning and accept Christmas in all its wonderful, stressful, lonely, awful, delightful ways. The truth is there’s not a lot you can do about most of it.
4. Know that you can’t keep everyone happy. No matter how much you bend over backwards for people, you’ll always disappoint people and upset people sometimes.
5. Do something you didn’t think you could.Tell your brother what you really think of him, eat all the Christmas cake, go on strike, just do what you really want versus what you think you should.

Transformation

Big Peace December Day 22

Recently, on my journey to do more of what I really want to do
(following my own flow) I've started to be more creative and am
attempting to write a little bit of fiction.

I was inspired by a screenwriting course I attended in Cornwall led
by Hollywood Guru Blake Snyder, author of Save the Cat!: The Only
Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need: 

I just wanted to share this post on Blake's blog: It's about
transformation:

 "All stories are about transformation," writes Blake.

 All stories are the caterpillar turning into a butterfly in some
 sense. All stories require a death and rebirth to make that painful
 and glorious process happen.

 And it occurs in movies... and in life.

 We transform every day, re-awaken to new concepts about the world
 around us, overcome conflict, and triumph over death... only to start
 again each morning.

 It's why stories that follow this pattern resonate.
 Because each day is a transformation machine and so are our lives."

Here's an exercise to get your creative juices flowing today;

Write the story you want to create today. What new concepts do you want to re-awaken?

What conflict will you overcome (and how?)

How will you triumph over 'death' - (I'd prefer it if you did that
metaphorically....! death of an idea???? death of a belief system?)

How will you choose to transform your life today?

 

Don't forget we are meditating for Mugabe tonight and the next 21 days.

Don't forget that we're trying to light up Mugabe in the next 21 days. At the following times, between 6-7 am, or at 12 - 1300hrs or at 19-2000hrs, there should be people meditating around the world at that time in any one of several different countries and sending love to Mugabe. Why, oh why? you may ask.

Big Peacer Jacquie Wilson has created a campaign with her friend James to give Mugabe and his leaders an 'energy makeover' in attempt to bring an end to the violence and destruction currently devastasting Zimbabwe.

James was shocked when at a church service the vicar said: “What’s needed is someone to go in and assassinate Mugabe and get rid of him once and for all!” Whilst I understood his perspective entirely, I was surprised that a man of God should say such a thing. It got me thinking," says James.

 "I believe it is entirely possible that, if we were to very specifically send light to Mr Mugabe and his henchman, that we could raise their energy enough to come to the negotiating table and sign a worthwhile agreement and stop this reckless destruction of a nation. There are several of us who have been doing this for a while now, but doing it individually and at unspecific times, we are not enough – we need the power of many collectively to achieve this."

So instead of sending violent thoughts to Mugabe or feeling powerless, James and Jacquie are urging us to send love every time we meditate or pray, for a period of at least 21 days starting on 21^st December, the winter solstice and the shortest day of the year to Mugabe and his team. It needs to be specifically directed to Mr Mugabe and his henchmen.

"We believe that with this collective energy makeover, it will ease their fear, selfishness and aggression just enough to allow for the necessary agreement to take place. If it achieves more, all well and good but all that is needed is to create the start of real and necessary change is simply the willingness to make a reasonable deal," says James.   

James and Jacquie propose that we focus our energy at as by doing so, we actually multiply the power of the energy generated substantially. They have come up with three times of day, based on the hour between 6.00am and 7.00am, 12-1300hrs and 19-2000hrs. 

I mentioned this what I was doing to a journalist friend of mine today and she was rather dismissive and cynical. Ok, this exercise may stretch your belief system, if you don't believe in sending energy/love/raising vibrations etc but have you got anything to lose? Apart from an hour a day.

But just imagine, if we can shift something....imagine if that was possible....imagine.....

Love

As a coach, I ask people what they want to create and clients will give me a great, long list of 'wants' from yachts to a day off.

I then ask them - what will that give them....what do they really,
really want?

The answers range from freedom to security but more often than not,
it's love.

Today, listen to some loving words. Get a person who loves you to
sit you down and spend a few moments telling you why you are
fantastic, wonderful and loved exactly how you are right now.

If that's all too embarrassing (or a bit too Oprah) get them to
write it down.

P.S Don't forget that we are meditating for Mugabe today. See post three days back.

What went well today?

Big Peace December Day 20

I'm just gearing up to the 23rd December where I'm meeting with my closest girlfriends to have a Christmas dinner and a end of year review. We are asking the following:

2008 was the year of..................
(What will you remember 2008 for?)
What did you learn about yourself and life in 2008?
What made you happiest in 2008 and how you can do more of that in 2009?
What was the biggest leap you made in 2008 and what did you learn from that?
What is your greatest wish for 2009?

We are going to be creating 'vision boards' for 2009 - my poor girlfriends! all they wanted to do was have a glass of champagne and a gossip.

But it is a really great exercise to do at this time of year.

It's been rather a big year for me in terms of learning and leaping. In May, I made a big decision to leave my 15 year marriage, I've found a new path in The Big Peace, I'm creating new projects and businesses and I'm learning about the power of love and how it can transform the most horrible of situations. And when we drive our life from our Big Peace place (where our inner coach resides) then everything is really Ok, despite grief and lots of snot and tears.

I am alone for the first time in my adult life but feel more connected and loved than I have ever felt.  And that's quite a big ask. My parents died when I was younger so I don't have a traditional safety net to support me, my poor brother and sister-in-law are going through their own crisis right now as my beautiful sister in law Paula is battling breast cancer for the second time and about to embark on  her second chemotherapy session on Christmas Eve.

It's a big year for me and my family, facing big life and death questions. Which has led me only to dive more deeply into The Big Peace place. I am no good to anyone when I operate from fear and seperation. I can only do what I can do - I'm very human, as you know but if we can leap from fear into our Big Peace place, then I feel miracles can happen and they DO happen.

I always thought I would be serene, organised, tidy and floating round in a white gown smiling and hearing piped angel music when I found my Big Peace. But no, life is still a confused jumble, hectic, messy, snotty with pizza stains down the front of that metaphorical white dress. But I have never felt so alive or so connected, so sure that whatever happens I'm living the life I was meant to live. With lots of wobbles, sobbing and leaping back into fear in between.

Diving into The Big Peace is my intention for 2009. And I'm staying in the Big Peace bath as long as I can - even when my fingers go wriggly.

A short exercise today. You can do the above or just simply ask this one:

Studies by one of the 'happiness scientists' Martin Seligman at
University of Pennsylvania found that taking time each day to write
down a trio of things that went well and why, works brilliantly to
make us feel better about life.

 "Our studies show people are less depressed and happier three
 months later and six months later, " he says.

Create a daily habit and start today - ask yourself:

"What went well today and why?"

An attitude of gratitude

I'm a bit low energy today after all that partying this week. Back into those purple slippers tonight and I'll be counting my blessings. Why? Because a study at the University of California by two psychologists found that 'counting your blessings' does work.

The results of their study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy.

Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals.

According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved.

"The ones who benefited most tended to elaborate more and have a wider span of things they're grateful for," says psychologist Robert Emmons.

Today start your gratitude diary and go to town!

Then set a weekly date to count your blessing.

The research showed that people who counted blessings once a week significantly increased their overall satisfaction with life over a period of six weeks, whereas a control group that did not keep
journals had no such gain.

What are you really grateful for? 

Spend time with your mates

What a night! Spent last night with a group of Big Peacers at the wonderful and inspirational launch of Planet Positive. Steve Malkin, my wonderful Big Leaping client has created an way of us all saving the world and reducing our carbon footprint.

"Planet Positive is all about: action not words. It is about taking responsible steps to reduce global warming and also to help people in the developing world have a better life.

We want you to become Planet Positive. Measure and reduce your carbon footprint, then offset the remainder by 110%. Be positive about tackling climate change, take Planet Positive action," said the wonderful Steve from the front of the room. 

I'm a great believer in action. So join Planet Positive today and create a better way of living.

Apart from the inspirational message we also got to raise a glass (or, er two or three) with some of the lovely Big Peacers who have been following this blog. Great to meet you Lucy and Caite (wow! I loved your dress, Caite is a fashion designer....check out her website!) Lovely to see you again Tina and got to meet a brilliant website designer Tracey - I also love your concept. The Simple Web Company.

And not to mention the wonderful Ali Atwell, motivational speaker who makes you laugh - a lot!

And so many other interesting people. I got rather enthusiastic over a bio-degradable plate that you can use at festivals or parties, which comes with a sunflower seed. So once you've eaten your nosh, you plant the plate AND seed in the ground. June you have a barbecue with your mates, and by August, you have a sunflower field in your back garden! www.uutensil.com How cool is that. Brilliant idea.

A great night -  inspirational, fun, lots of wine with wonderful people. It made me happy but no surprise there.

Virtually all the happiness exercises being tested by positive psychologists have found that those that make people feel more connected to others work best.

That seems to be the most fundamental finding from the science of happiness.

 "Almost every person feels happier when they're with other people," observes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow:The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

 "It's paradoxical because many of us think we can hardly wait to get home and be alone with nothing to do, but that's a worst-case scenario.  If you're alone with nothing to do, the quality of your experience really plummets."

A 2002 study conducted at the University of Illinois  found that the most salient characteristics shared by the 10% of students with the highest levels of happiness and the fewest signs of depression were
their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.

Today is a simple exercise - book a night out with your mates who you love and who love you.

Cheers!