The Big Peace

We're on the starting blocks!

Just a quick note.....we're just doing our warm-ups for the Big Peace programme...which is about to start on the 1st September so do sign up if you haven't already(it's free!!!!)

www.thebigpeace.com.

Just heard that the amazing author Byron Katie - she wrote Loving What Is - has agreed to give us a telephone interview - how fantastic is this!

We've also got the wonderful Gloria Thomas..top therapist/psychotherapist to create a 3 minute 'peace spot' visualisation for us.....I'm just figuring out where I can put that so you can all download it. Bear with me.

How exciting is this.

Got to go. Up in Newcastle right now visiting my brother and we're off to the beach to shiver in the rain! (summer, ha, ha!)

Speak very soon.

Suzy x

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Lipliving

I interviewed the wonderful Lea Woodward yesterday who lives what she calls a 'lip life'.

Lea and her husband Jonathon travel the world, with their lap tops, running their businesses via phone and internet.

A LIP is a Location Independent Professional - ie someone who travels the world, works at they go and lives their dreams - every day.

What I love about Lea's philosophy is that she is a 'big leaper' at heart (ie left the corporate world/rat race....to create the life she really wants) and she's creating a life by her rules,doing it her own way.

"Who made up the rules - that say you have to work really hard, to make lots of money so you can buy a house with a big mortgage that you can then have to work even harder to pay off, until you can finally retired with a nice little nice egg pension...and finally start enjoying your life. Pleasure delayers! There's nothing wrong with that at all - if that's what you want. But we didn't. And we realised that we don't have to," says Lea. " LIP living is all about helping others who don't want to play by the rules."

What excited me so much about Lea and her company and website was this idea that she's not waiting 'til she is rich/created a nest egg to live the life she really wants to live. She's not doing living in the future setting 'I'll be happy when...."goals.

Lea is living every day, creating it as she goes a long. Be it in Grenada or Italy. She's figured out a way to get a better quality lifestyle for less work and less money. And she's determined to live her life now....not waiting for a golden future. "Life is for living. Right this minute - not tomorrow, not next week, not next year. But right now."

Now there's a Big Peace sentiment if ever I heard one.

Check Lea out on www.lipliving.com

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You magazine.

Wow! I'm in the papers. or in You magazine, anyway. Two whole pages about me and missing peace. And the response has been overwhelming! You mean you feel like that too?

So pleased you'll be joining me on The Big Peace programme - I think it's going to be really good fun. The only coaching programme ever that will encourage us to nap more, do less, and generally enjoy yourselves.

It'll be the slacker's guide to zen.

Who's in?

Suzy x

P.S. Can I just say...that I really do look as thin/beautiful and fabulous as the illustrations in the article portray me...no, really......I do....

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I'm bored of self righteous outrage

So the husband bought another motorbike. And he's hidden his old one in his shed. (Does he really think I won't notice?)

What's interesting is how upset I got again...(I foamed at the mouth when he bought his first one in May - thinking it would take him away from the family/how dare he spend all that money on just himself/yada, yada, yada.....)

So I got over myself and came to the conclusion that he can do what he wants with his money/his life/his time...and would just focus on my own enjoyment (Ok, I was slightly flouncy about it but I was doing my best)

He's now bought the 2nd motorbike and I am still foaming at the mouth so something's bothering me....

So I did get out Byron Katie's worksheets (Time magazine calls her 'spiritual innovator for 21st Century www.thework.com)

I used the 4 question model that she uses to really get to the crux of my motorcycle angst.
So Byron gets you to name the thought that is bothering you....and I'm ashamed to say.....that my thought was:

He should have spent the money on me! (me? a princess? what do you mean?)
So let's get to work. Byron challenges you to follow a 4 question enquiry into your stressful thoughts:

Question 1: Is that true?
(should my husband spend his money on me?)
Yes, sometimes, why not? (my arms are folded defiantly)

Question 2: Can you be absolutely certain that it is true?
YOu know what? no. Why on earth should he spend his money on me?

Question 3: How do you react when you think that thought? (he should spend the money on me...)
I feel resentful, angry, hard-done-by, like a victim.

Question 3a. Can you think of a stress-free reason to keep that thought? Er, no.

Question 4: Who would I be without that thought?
Calm, excited for him, excited that I  have a husband whose interesting enough to buy a motorbike, hell, two motorbikes.

As ever, when I do this four question enquiry, I find myself in 180 degree place from where I started.

It's a brilliant tool for finding the missing peace when you've lost the plot.

 

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The zen of motorcycle acceptance.

I am struggling  with inner peace today.

My husband's just bought another motorbike. A faster one.

And then he announces that it's not to replace the other one.

It's an new addition to our family. I thought the first motorbike was just a mid-life crisis thing. So what does the appearance of faster, bigger number two bike mean?

Byron Katie, self-help guru  - who has created the brilliant model....'the work' (www.thework.com) - a 4 question model to challenge stressful thoughts - would probably tell me to stop arguing  with reality and simply change the way I think about it.

And of course, she is right. It is the stories I'm making up in my head about this that are stressing me out.

But I think I'll enjoy my self-righteous outrage for one night more.....

 

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Healing words?

I am just doing some research into how writing down how we feel can actually heal us. I've just launched Storyville Writing Academy - where I'm getting lots of top Hollywood gurus and amazing London agents to teach master-classes on how to tell our stories.

The more I listen to the gurus speak and the more writers I coach, the more I realise it's all about the 'story'. We want to tell our stories to the world....and I think that can be incredibly healing. Or I think so, anyway.

There is a new websiteblog called Postsecret- where people are posting their 'secrets' on a postcard and the website is displaying them. Originally, I think it was part of a community art project but I noticed that there was a link to a Hopeline network - supporting people thinking of suicide. That's what got me thinking really. Can writing something down - and then sharing it - heal us?

Yes, says American psychologist James W. Pennebaker, author of Writing to Heal ( Harbinger, £16.99). In his studies, writing about a traumatic event for 20 minutes has been scientifically proven to not only improve your mood, but also your immune function.

I wonder how this will affect your peace function?

 

 

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The Big Peace comes back from holiday

So I was wrong. Inner peace doesn't lie within....it's all about lying on a beach and a yoga mat, plenty of wine, plenty of childcare and the odd spin on a boat.
Just come back from Club Galini on Greek Island Leftkas and  I really  did feel incredibly  peaceful (with an odd hungover moment).
Was it the wine? Was it the yoga? For me, it's leaving behind my list of 'shoulds'. Working from home always feels ideal - with that dream commute from bed to office on on our top floor of the house. However, when you work from home, there is always the opportunity to work. I love my work but it's still work.
Going away without laptap, mobile phone and any access to email gave me a complete break. I had whole afternoons to moodle around, pick pebbles from the beach, drink a glass of wine or two. I can see why there are so many 'pack up and live in the sun' tv programmes jamming our airwaves. However, despite the blue sea, gorgeous people and outdoor lifestyle - I don't want to pack up and live in Greece.
What I need to do is try and tempt my holiday self to come and live in my house.
My holiday self is relaxed, doesn't feel the need to do/do/do, can wander, snooze, pebble collect and have a crafty glass of wine in the afternoon.
I can feel my inner pessimist crossing his arms and snorting as I write. "Er, have you seen what you've got to do this summer?" he rants. "Get back to that desk."
With my inner pessimist running my home and office, it's always difficult to sneak a new girl in. And my holiday self definitely won't want to stay with the old inner pessimist in charge.
If I let my holiday self run my company and my life this summer- what would happen? My fear is that nothing would happen.
The question is - do I dare to find out?

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The Big Peace Goes On Holiday

So.........a week in Greece for a yoga and sailing holiday. This is a first for me. I've never really done an activity holiday.

You'd think that there is enormous potential for finding inner peace while doing my yoga stretching on a white beach and letting my hair get blown back on a small boat that goes fast (oooo, you see I'm using technical terms already).

I'll be interested to  see what happens. It's definitely one of my 'I'll be happy when.....' fantasies! So when you get to sample the reality.....what will happen?

I have repeatedly discovered that whenever I go on holiday, I go too. I can't seem to get away from me - with all my neuroses and anxieties. Stalked by my own inner pessimist. It's that thing again.....there is no place that I can reach that will make me feel more peaceful. It's not a destination.

What is it then? A transformation? Even that sounds too hard work. It's more an acceptance of the now. In a soothing way.

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Imperial war museum

I took my son to the Imperial war museum in London on Sunday. It was quite an emotional afternoon. My son, who is 4, just loved the tanks and huge planes hanging from the roof but for me, I found it quite disturbing. There was a replica of the atom bomb from the 2nd World war, there was a whole exhibition on childhood and war -with gravestones of babies, which made  me  sob.

The 3rd floor is dedicated to the Holocaust. This exhibition is devastating (and necessary)  - to always remind us what can happen when we allow our minds to be poisoned by hatred and fear, of what happens when we are war with ourselves - and the dark side wins.

I believe that we all have a dark side - fear/anger/pain that has nowhere to go but to attack and destroy. To build a Big Peace for ourselves - how can we acknowlege this dark side and bring it into the light? Hitler was striving to create the perfect 'arien' race - where anything other than what he saw as 'perfect' had be destroyed. A world of peace is one of diversity, acceptance of all humanity versus the perfect few.

After my visit, I felt overwhelmed with 'what can little me do against such dark forces?' I came to the conclusion that right now, I can start with working on myself - on my own inner wars, my own dark side - stop denying my anger, grief, sadness, bitchiness et al. And working on transforming that darker energy into something more positive or at least, be more open so I can begin to heal whatever is rattling my cage.

And certainly stop striving to be perfect. But rather celebrate my imperfections and all that makes me human.

Let's start a new campaign - or create a new 'week' -  how does 'celebrate your imperfections' week?
Post your ideas in the comments books. What is imperfect about you and how does that make you into a better person?

Fast or slow?

I am noticing that I am fast. Not in that raised eyebrow kind of way. More's the pity. But I do everything at speed. I consume food, liquids, books at a quite a pace. "Next! What's new? What's for pudding?" I've been reading a book called In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore - How a worldwide movement is challenging The Cult of Speed. It's a very seductive philosophy this slowing down thing. The book explores a new slower pace in many different areas from food to sex.

Is slowing down the route to peace? Does peace live a 'slow' world or in a fast one? Discuss.

Maybe it's both. Maybe the route to peace is being able to change gear from first to fifth and accelerate and brake when needed. It's embracing both slow and fast.

I think I'm probably very good at the extremes - very slow (comatose in bed  - hurrah!) or very fast (juggling many projects/childcare/life while eating my breakfast and watching a film) I've always been a very all or nothing person.

So is the route to peace - accepting myself exactly as that and celebrating that and finding a way to make all or nothing work for me? Or should I be practicising driving in 2nd and 3rd gear?

What do you think?