The Big Peace

"I'll be happy when......"

Thank you jules for that lovely honest post.

Here's the talk I did at Scanners night a couple of weeks ago on exactly this subject...

http://www.scannercentral.co.uk/audio/scannersnight090120.mp3

It's how we constantly hope that we'll be happy if we achieve this/do that/get this published/are thin/rich/succesful etc. Only to find out that happiness does not live over the rainbow but right here in the present.

Have a listen - would love to hear your thoughts. This is what Cameron is ultimately telling us, I think. Enjoy the journey, and take the focus off the destination. Enjoy the process versus putting all our emphasis on the 'deal'. 

Guest blogger Jules on ego versus soul.

Jules Ritter from Switzerland says: 

 

(jules with her eldest son)

My biggest breakthrough in my morning pages this week has been the understanding of the ego versus soul/true identity dilemma.

 

This is my story: I am a journalist/writer returning to the world of freelancing after many years at home looking after my children.  Last year, following six months of coaching on the Platinum Programme with Suzy, I managed to fulfil my set goal of breaking into the UK press with a double page spread in Red magazine followed by two articles published in The Weekend Telegraph.

 

Hurrah!  Cue Fireworks!!! Ringing bells!!! Pop open the champagne???!!!

Er…no, not quite.

 

I was initially elated or possibly it was more a sense of relief that here, finally, was evidence that I could write, then I just felt…depleted.  I blamed it on exhaustion, the end of the year, so I took a break over Christmas.

 

I started the New Year with renewed vigour, getting straight back on the pitching wagon, setting the heady goal of one publication a month which, I see now, was the equivalent of placing a loaded gun to my head and even as I wrote this pledge down, put it on my vision board and said it OUT LOUD to Suzy over the phone, there was no visceral shift, no surge of energy, no frisson just a feeling of a wet day at the beach.  Suzy surprised me by asking “How can we make this more enjoyable for you?”  The phrase there is no road to happiness, happiness IS the road, came to mind as I mulled this over.

 

I was on the wrong path and I needed to go off on a few detours, take a look over a few hedges.

 

And this is what I have learned 1: 

 

Ego voice (loud,,obnoxious) “ Hey, girl!  Look at you!  Now you are a REAL writer (subtext: as opposed to that con-artist everyone thought you were – my ego has a bitchy tongue).  They pay you good money to write.  Pitch, Pitch, PITCH!”

 

True Voice (softly confident , sometimes whispers):  “hmmm.  Maybe.  It is nice to be published but, well, I feel lonely, cut off from the world pitching ideas that mostly go nowhere, not connecting with anyone.  I don’t want to spend my days like this.” 

 

So it was all a big ego trip.  A great big flashy day out.  A dip of the toe in the water of minor fame and recognition and lovely as it was, it wasn’t/isn’t fulfilling enough because maybe it was all just a little too much about ME.  What I did enjoy were all the emails I received from people from all over the world.  Knowing I resonated with people I had never met, knowing other people laughed even cried at my articles , now that was a blast, my heart was singing with joy when I read those.

 

And this is what I have learned 2:

 

I love to write, I love words but I don’t need constant recognition to survive or to call myself a writer, at least not anymore.  So goodbye ego or is it au revoir?  Until the next time…

 

Since writing my morning pages  - feels like the Artist’s Motorway I’ve got  so busy - I have decided to pitch when an idea comes to me and only then, to continue writing my blog which I do for pleasure, to continue writing my book, and to continue reading books that feed my soul and help me understand the real me; the one standing quietly and patiently in the background licking her wounds having fought so long and hard against the loudmouth stamping her feet and waving her arms about all the time.

 

Beware the voice of the ego and listen for the voice that whispers out to you.  Then you will  find your true path.

What's coming up in your morning pages?

Thanks for all your comments. Really impressed that on Kerry's first 'morning pages' jaunt that she got such insights already.

What you learning about yourself this week?

I was annoyed to see me having a conversation about my alcohol intake in my morning pages. I've always been a big drinker - since I was 13 when I sieved my first bottle of cider through my nose! My journalist days didn't help - where I could drink a bottle a day without it touching the side. But I'm older and supposedly wiser but do love to drink a glass or two of wine at night - it helps me relax or that's what I tell myself. But there have been a couple of occasions when I've been out recently - when I have got very tipsy. Not a good look. Yes, I had a tough year last year but now it's over. 

And I've found myself in my morning pages discussing my alcohol intake. And it's boring and repetitive. And it's just not a conversation I want to be having with myself. I know I've always had a dodgy relationship with alcohol. And I don't want dodgy relationships in my life any more.

So in week 1, I think I'm going on the wagon. And see if I can do this 12 week process through without a glass of wine in my hand.

That's going to be interesting!

So what are you discovering about yourselves in your morning pages?

We can discuss it more in the Big Leap zone. Go to www.thebig-leap.com and go to the big leap zone, use LEAP as your password and join the chat room to chat.

P.S we've had loads of volunteers for guest bloggers and we're now taking names for a reserve list. Thank you.

Calling all bloggers!

Jules Ritter, big leaper, journalist and blogger extraordinaire - has had a great idea of having guest bloggers on my blog to talk about their Artist's Way journey - I need some volunteers?
Who wants to blog?! Maybe you can start us off Jules?

The Artist's Way - week 1

This week we're 're-covering a sense of safety' for our inner artist - identifying the negative beliefs that keep us from creating and creating some new mantras that champion our artist within. I love it.

I have just booked Dr David Hamilton, author of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body, to come and do a big talk in London on the 25th April.(watch this space)

Hamilton is a scientist, who was inspired by the field research tests he conducted for drug companies. Realising that placebo tests produced comparable results with the sample that received the actual drug, he set about understanding why. “The more research I did, the more studies I found that showed irrefutable evidence that the thoughts we think have a massive impact on our bodies and our lives.

The mind cannot tell the difference between real and imagined," he says.

In context of this first chapter of The Artist's Way, Hamilton's book has made me realise how the negative stories we tell ourselves about our creativity/our talent or lack of it - will profoundly affect what we create in our lives as well as on the page.

But what I've discovered is that it takes immense courage to change the stories that we tell ourselves. When we change our beliefs about what is possible, then things begin to change - and that can be very scary. It's sometimes easier to hide and grumble in the shadows.

I completely resonated with Cameron's description of the shadow artist. I married an 'artist' - a musician and spent a large part of my marriage championing his dreams versus following my own. Much easier! But when I first read the Artist's Way, this first chapter resonated so deeply that I went off and signed up to a screenwriting course, and started writing my novel. I didn't want to live in the shadows. And it's working. Not because I've got a deal or a film optioned but merely because I've dared to see myself as a creative.

What would happen if you dared to see yourself as creative being? I say 'dare' as Cameron also mentions it. "Very often audacity, not talent, makes one person an artist and another a shadow artist - hiding in the shadows, afraid to step out and expose the dream to the light, fearful it will disintegrate to to the touch."

It reminds me of what I always say about the Big Leapers - some of my most successful clients are not successful because they are more talented, more creative, more brainy - they are just braver. They dare to put themselves out there, they dare to fail, they dare to put their head above the parapet and go for it. And to start you off on the journey, that's all you need. 'Leap and the net will appear', indeed.

I've just spend the afternoon watching Kung Fu Panda with my son. It's brilliant. It's about Po, a 'big, fat panda' who 'by accident' is chosen to be the 'dragon warrior' - despite there being a crack team of kung-fu experts who would seemingly be better served to save the valley from the baddie - the scary snow leopard. Better at feeding his face than kung fu, Po discovers that he can use his innate hungry personality to motivate him to learn kung fu in 5 days. And learns the secret from the dragon scroll that 'there is no secret ingredient' to learn. 'It's just believing in yourself.'

Ok, it's a Dreamswork film but there I was weeping on the sofa because it hit the spot. We're not perfect, we may not be a creative genius, we may be 'a big fat panda' but when we use what skills and our innate talents - be that eating or kung fun - and have the courage to believe in ourselves, then who knows where we may end up?

This first chapter of The Artist's Way helps us re-ignite that self belief. And I know from personal experience and from coaching thousands of clients that this can be the biggest leap of all.

Exercises this week:

1. Read chapter 1
2. Do as many of the exercises at the end of the chapter as you can fit in.
3. And don't forget your daily morning (or er, evening pages) plus your artist's date. There is a blanket of snow where I am today so I think I'm going to start my week with a bit of snowman building.

Is swimming an artist's date?

Is swimming an artist's date - or is that cheating, asks Antonia today?

What do you think? I've already get us all cheating on the morning pages by doing them in the afternoon/evening so a bit wary about saying 'whatever'.

So have referred back to Cameron's wise words:

"An artist's date is a block of time - perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist. In its most primary form, the artist date is an excursion, a play date that you preplan and defend against all interlopers......no lovers, friends, children or taggers on of any stripe.....

Spending time in solitude with your artist child is essential to self nurturing. A long country walk, a solitary expedition to the the beach for a sunrise or sunset, a sortie out to a strange church to hear gospel music, to an ethnic neighbourhood to taste foreign sights and sounds - your artist may enjoy any of these. Or your artist might like bowling."

Your artist, Antonia, might like swimming.

How is everyone else doing with their artist date ideas.

Thank you Marilyn for inspiration from this blog!

http://theartistswayblog.wordpress.com/artists-date-ideas/

I'm off tomorrow for The Big Eat retreat. So not around to blog. See you over the weekend, I'm sure.

And tune in for Sunday's instalment. We are leaping into chapter 1 and rediscovering a sense of safety.

xxxx

The afternoon pages

Well, I procrastinated some more, had a nap, and then finally at 2.30pm got round to doing my morning pages.

only a page and half. (but really, really big pages, honest) and what a load of old drivel. But I'm off the starting blocks.

How are you all doing? And what's the ruling about the pages? Can I make a suggestion that as long as we do our pages every day - we can do them in whatever time frame we want versus just the morning. I know why the morning pages work in the morning but I suspect with my son, the dog-walking, the general chaos in my house - these will be the perfect excuse not to write them.

So I'm giving myself permission to do the afternoon/evening pages.

What will work for you?

Is anyone else procrastinating?

I'm faffing and fuffing around. I can't find the right notebook to write my morning pages in, I don't know what to do for my artist's date, I'm reading a great novel right now so can't quite finish Cameron's introduction and I haven't signed my contract. Have I spent hour a day on the book yet? I don't think so.

Classic procrastination techniques for me! Procrastination is my greatest skill (after napping.) I love The Artist's Way, I know it's going to lift me to another level, I've persuaded everyone to join me on the journey.....and here I am.....doing nothing! Not until I get the right notebook.

I procrastinate because I'm scared - what of? I don't know. Changing my life, getting out of my comfort zone, leaping and then falling flat on my face. It's called a comfort zone for a reason.

Tonight I forced myself to read the 'basic principles' introduction and read the line: 'Leap and the net will appear'.

I know it's my thing but she's right.

Tonight, I'm leaping and commit to starting my morning pages  - on my son's homework pad if I have to (that'll shake up those teachers - I always seem to swear at lot in my morning pages - is that just me?)

HOw are the rest of you getting on?

The Artist's Way: the warm up

I am delighted that so many of you have signed up to walk the Artist's Way with me. (over 250 of us!)

I love The Artist's Way and always name it as one of my top five life changing books. When I first completed Julia Cameron's course, it affected me profoundly. My creativity - always one of my top values - seemed to explode. Yes, I started to write more creatively - I wrote a screenplay, started a novel, a blog and about three new projects but it was more than just that. The Artist's Way helped me think and create from a different paradigm. The Big Peace was directly inspired by this course.

In short, it changed my life. Let see if changes yours.

Let's get started.

This week, let's read the introduction and basic principles so we can start next Monday on week 1.

 I have recommended this book to all my clients and some get very alarmed by the use of the 'God' word but as Julia Cameron explains - you don't have to believe in God or have any kind of spiritual beliefs to do this course. YOu just have to do the work and exercises and suspend judgement.

Cameron suggests that we create a weekly schedule to work through this book. Shall we set a schedule now?

HOw about I post instructions/comments every sunday night and we endeavour to read the chapter and complete the exercises by the following sunday. I will blog on my thoughts and you can post your thoughts and comments as we go along and support each other.

Cameron suggests we spend about an hour a day doing some work on this course - perhaps one or two exercises a night? But she doesn't expect us to do all of them - just the ones that appeal to us and those we most strongly resist.

Homework for this week:

Read Introduction and Basic tools chapters.

Get your head around the morning pages (one habit I still have to this day...but they are usually my 'evening pages) 3 pages of long hand writing - just vomitting out your thoughts on to the page.

"The morning pages are the primary tool of creative recovery," says Cameron.

So try it out this week.

The other exercise is to book your first artist's date. Two hours weekly dedicated to a play date with your inner artist. Last time I did this course, I was so resistant to this, I had to work myself up to two hour slot - starting with a 10 minute artist's date. 

Finally, this week, sign your contract. 

I, .............., understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the 12 week duration of the course. I, ..............., commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist's date and the fulfillment of each week's tasks.

I, ............., further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, ......................, commit my self to excellent self care - adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering -for the duration of the course.

 

----------------------------------

(signature)

 

___________

(date)

(Perhaps print this out and stick it on your fridge)

Ok.....we're off the starting blocks.

Another brilliant night!

Wow! I gave a talk last night after being invited by John Williams, leader of the Scanners tribe. (highly creative people with millions of great ideas!) http://www.scannercentral.co.uk/

I had a ball! It was sold out with 76 people in the room - and I had to do my talk sitting on the bar! Now that's my kind of talk! Loved it - loved the amazing people that I met and  chatted to. With the scanners tribe, I feel I belong - lots of creative people who like to have a glass or two of wine - wonderful!

Just have to mention the lovely Libby who I coached live on stage - or live on the bar. Libby has created an amazing idea of creating a 'sewing circle' - where you recycle old fabrics - and transform your old curtain into a glamorous clutch or last season's skirt into a kitsch 50s apron. They have workshops galore - loved it. www.thestudiolondon.co.uk

I also met Ann - who has asked me to talk at her creativity weekend. She's flying over top american experts, as well as top authors and agents - and er, me, now!
http://designyourcreativelife.wordpress.com/

And a big hurrah for the lovely Daniel of http://www.futurebility.co.uk/
- who turned my inner peace machine (www.emwave.com) as green as I've ever seen it. Now, there's one happy man!

Thanks to everyone who came to support me. Apparently the talk was recorded so will post it up once I've received it.

The one big thing I took away from the night - was how passionately I do feel about The Big Peace work. I threw my notes away and spoke from the heart (well, from the bar!) and I did feel absolutely sure that I'm on the right path.