The Artist's Way Week 5

How was week 4 for you? I certainly was hitting my resistance wall. "It's not working, It's not working, I hate this!" I was heard to cry. "I'm going to read if I want to, so there!" Tantrums? My inner three year old was in full cry, my inner artist was left quivering in the shadows.

I've heard from quite a few of you this week everything from 'I've blown it' to 'this is utter crap and writing the pages is like torture.' So it was lovely to know I wasn't alone.

But to my mind, there isn't any way to ‘blow' this process is there? Please god, I hope not. Isn't this about journey? Not about getting to week 12.

I believe it's about pulling out the insights that you need.

Do it your own way. There is no way to fail this – is there?

Because if there is, then I will be expelled for not doing my morning pages (1 out of 7 last week) and for reading as much as I can this week and putting two fingers up at the reading ban. I’m just trying to observe what’s going on with me. I’m never very good with rules or authority so it’s no surprise to me that I’m behaving badly! But that’s just interesting to acknowledge in itself.

But there is certainly stuff shifting - I took another 5 bags to the tip, I've created a yoga/chill out room beside my office - a space for just me. I had my coaching call this week and my coach commented on how I had to stop being 'nice' and get through this anger that was simmering throughout our call. So I went and chopped some wood for my fire. With a great big axe! If anyone saw me, they would think I was a woman demented. But I must say, it was certainly one of the most therapeutic moments of this month.

And now we're going to be let loose on Week 5 -god helps us! We're going to get ourselves out of the virtue trap, stop playing nice and get off 'the treadmill of virtuous production' and stop 'vampirizing our souls'. (Funny I had a dream about vampires last week).

And we're going to lean more into some spiritual dependency. Which sounds blissful. I'm ready to stop resisting this week. It's too exhausting. I want to trust. I want to trust that this is the right path for me. I just want to surrender, lean in, be held and know that all I need to do is trust.

This will be a big leap but one I'm itching to make.

Homework:
Morning pages (try to do better than I'm doing!)
Artist's Date.
And try to do the exercises that you like the sound of the most and the ones you want to ignore.

Speak to you this week!

Comments

[Caite]

I had a very similar effect from this week's AW too.....I cleared out my wardrobe and my chest of drawers....theory being I'll get new gorgeous cloths into the space now available. I have had some very vivid dreams that have been very positive. And I am creating a special meditating space in both my home and studio.
And I meditated instead of doing morning pages because I was in danger of missing the journey and just 'getting' through the 12 weeks with gritted teeth....which doesn't sit well with me. So here's to week 5.......

[Kerry Roberts]

My week runs from Wednesday so I have just sat down to catch up and notice all the things I havent done in Week 4!

I was feeling really annoyed with myself and avoided reading any posts until now but I see I am not alone. I wrote 2 x full morning pages, 2 x half morning pages, haven't had an artists date and done one of the weeks tasks this evening in a rush to keep up with Week 5 starting tomorrow.

I have been toying with the idea of putting myself back a week but I am going to carry on, as you say its about the journey and I shall try harder next week.

Kerry