Guest blogger on not throwing in the towel.

Guest blogger Emma Bibby from www.assistantguru.co.uk says:
 

"I am so glad that I committed to doing the Artist's Way this time around.  It helps knowing that so many others are there with me, working through it also, albeit in our own personal ways.  I was skeptical, as I have a tendency to take on too much, and was worried I'd give up half way through.  But, I am feeling determined!  As Jules wrote in the chat room earlier this week - we are a 'brave tribe' - taking the time, and making the effort to try and make positive changes in our lives, even though the process to get there can be painful and massively challenging at times.

 

I have no problems in writing 3 pages each day for my morning pages, although I also feel that it is sometimes a chore as others have mentioned.  So far my morning pages have been alot of negative ranting, and because its a safe environment to let it all out, I've reluctantly found myself writing about issues that maybe I brushed under the carpet before.  However, this negative ranting did not make me feel good - where were all the creative thoughts, 'lightbulb' moments, real breakthroughs in understanding parts of my life? 

 

I have spent many years on developing myself from reading books, attending courses and workshops, to meditation retreats and working in the complementary and alternative health field.  It is an integral part of my life now - self-development - and I do believe in natural ways to help and nurture ourselves, and have built up a repertoire of useful resources and tools over the years to support me when I need it (e.g. meditation techniques, the use of herbal remedies, yoga and eating well).  However, although I know how to make myself feel good - WHY do I not call upon these wonderful tools more often!?

 

My point is, its all very well reading, learning and realising what is good for us...but it is no good unless we actually practice these things, and experience first hand how they make us feel.  Maybe this is why I find resistance to some of the Artist's Way work - when I start seeing my negative rants appear in my morning pages, I am confronted with the fact that despite my years of self-development learning...there is still so much I need to face and really change.  I have already questioned, here in Week 2, whether a) I 'throw in the towel' as I have done so many times before, when faced with my own issues, and carry on regardless, or do I b) decide that this time I will work through it, despite making me feel uncomfortable at times, and make real strides towards positive change.  By doing the Artist's Way I am choosing b)!

 

I am a self-confessed 'Scanner' (a term I've only recently come to know, but immediately identified with!), always wanting to learn more, more, more...yet, this time my greatest challenge is being practical and DOING more, more, more!  So, sitting down with a pad and pen as part of the Artist's Way process, and trying to pinpoint who my self-confidence sabateurs have been in the past, who assisted in stifling my creativity - that, for me is really DOING - and is so hard for me to identify...maybe because I've buried the real answers for so long.  Am still trying to fathom this bit out!  Thinking about what affirmations will help me, and then having to deal with the blurts, that is really DOING - and takes work for me.   Then, practicing the affirmations so that, over time my unconscious mind is convinced that these are my new beliefs, and to forget my outdated negative beliefs - that is DOING...and is, again, a real effort for me.  Still working on this!!

 

But, rather than try to do every single task, to perfection, as I was putting pressure on myself to do...here in Week 2, I'm trying to relax a bit, and do as much as I can...picking those tasks which I would enjoy, plus some I'm resistant too.  Rather than racing through the process, I'm trying to sit back and let it all sink in, and actually DO the practice required (affirmations etc.) and keep this course as a sacred thing for myself - only to be shared with like-minded souls while I work through it...the brave tribe!"

Comments

[Maria]

I really enjoyed reading your blog entry Emma and can relate to so much of what you say. I'm finding the process of going through the 'Artist's Way' more enjoyable this time around knowing there are others' doing morning pages and working through their own stuff at the same time. Shared idea's are so much more powerful than going through the motion's on your own. It's good to be part of the Brave Tribe :-)

[Tracey Rissik]

Hi Emma,
great post - and very thought-provoking as I saw so much of me in your writing too. I'm a Scanner who just takes on WAY too much too often. I resist the notion that I'm not Superwoman, who needs no sleep & can do everything every day :-| So it's good to have the inspiration of someone else overcoming resistance.

Best wishes to everyone on the programme!
Tracey :)

[gina langton]

I too can relate to much that you have written. Week 2 and I am feeling rather discombobulated by my increased awareness of who I am and who I am not. The section on Crazymakers - what a wake up call - one minute I yell "Eureka!" I've got it. HE's been stopping me. As I read on, I discover that's not quite what is being said here. I don't remember reading about this last time. Am I the crazymaker too? And still my karmic tentacles are ranging madly to find excuses for complacency, hesitation, duvet tunneling. Hey ho! But I'm determined as ever to continue - I know I'm making progress, because I'm beginning to chuckle inwardly....... and I'm really glad I'm not alone! Thanks all of you!

[Lizzie Edwards]

Emma, so great to hear how you are getting on! I am also spurred on by the fact that i'm not alone doing this, and by the posts that share that others keep taking on too much too..
I have been consistent in my morning pages, and not missed a day, but today the negative voice piped up - You're not doing this properly, your writing is way to scribbled and messy, you haven't done the tasks properly, you will not get the benefit of this if all you do is write in the mornings blah blah blah..
I do not have a problem doing things on my own so the artist dats are not proving hard either, but they sem to be the little sort, kind of blended in rather than blocked in the diary - like i went to the flower market on sunday morning early and did some flower arranging, BUT i haven't been to the V&A like i keep planning, so im giving myself a hard time. But im still in it!