Meltdown Isn't An Option: From guest blogger Gina Langton

Guest Blogger Gina Langton says:

Week 3 is a massive chapter – I think it’s really the pivotal point at where AW’s purpose becomes clear.  It says to me, if you want to unblock then start really nailing those internal culprits – those dreadful stealers of creativity.

 

To be honest, not only am I feeling angry, but frustrated and bereft as well. And I have to admit I’ve found my hand down the cereal packet a couple of times (does anyone else do that?). That’s because there’s too much information to deal with in Chapter 3 – at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself and that I can’t cope with it all.  I observe feelings of meltdown, but I’m not giving in to them.

 

Of course, it’s half term, and the kids are home from school, so that doesn’t help, but almost everything else in my environment has been conspiring to get in the way too. Such as the need to polish bathroom taps, clean out the fridge, and wash the kitchen floor (even when the daily is coming in tomorrow!) – anything to stop me from writing this blog, and that’s not all I have to do today. And to top it all, yesterday I pranged the car. But isn’t this always the way when we are deeply challenging our lives? 

 

It’s all that junk we’ve brought ourselves up on – the uncreative dialogues we’ve been re-running in our heads day in day out.  They are powerfully delusional and energy sapping. Becoming aware about shame and criticism is essential to my future growth, but I’m not going to give myself a hard time about it – what’s passed has passed. I must allow myself to believe that the universe is responsive and intelligent, and as soon as I dare to risk, leap, determine, and dream with renewed spiritual open mindedness, that’s when magical things happen. Synchronicity. I have been there before. I think a lot of us have – I just need reminding sometimes.

 

So I’m bringing the panic/anger levels down a little, taking a few deep breaths, looking for things to be grateful for, praying a little bit more, and reassuring myself in a parental kind of way.  Actually, things aren’t so bad.  I can deal with this stuff of the past.  Also I had quite a successful AW week 2.  I managed to write my morning pages 7/7, do most of the tasks and squeezed in a very enjoyable solo visit to the cinema to see the latest Woody Allen movie. Things are moving along nicely.

 

I chose to do AW, because I needed a catalyst to help me break through a serious impasse. I am aware my anger is different today, because it is precipitating a need for me to take action – and I’m feeling excited – I agree with Suzy that this is going to be a dynamic week. Happily, I have got the bit between my teeth (although I am still quite tempted to scream). I have AW, a nurturing group of co-AW-ees, and my healthy warrior-style anger –I’m not going to allow myself the luxury of procrastination or flipping out – I am going to pay those bills, write that report, do my expenses, and very importantly re-set my dreams. 

 

Thank you Suzy for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts, and here’s to a great week everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Jules - www.julesritter.com]

Hi Gina. Nice to see a picture of you. "Becoming aware about shame and criticism is essential to my future growth." That says so much. The "awareness" is key. What I am learning too is once we are aware of those negative thoughts which spiral out of control and take them for what they really are - the ego showing off and nothing to do with us or the truth then we can observe, acknowledge and even laugh at ourselves. You use "aware" twice in this blog, give yourself a pat on the back you have made it.

[Maria]

Hi Gina.

I agree with Jules - there's a lot of awareness going on here. Really interesting to read. This is powerful stuff isn't it.

Thanks for sharing.

[JB]

Hi, yes awareness is a big thing this week, but for me sinchronicity is much bigger.

I was sitting in church on Sunday morning listening to the sermon on worrying, tying in quite alot of what was being said with the AW. Mostly I was trying to remember a quote from Mark Twain, something along the lines of 'Ive experienced quite alot of things, and some of them have actually happened'. When low and behold, the chap giving the sermon finished by saying 'my favourite quote on worry is...' yes you guessed it, he then said this quote!! I nearly fell off my pew!!

I explained my astonishment to a close friend over coffee afterwards, and she was amazed too. She also offered me alot of positive support and encouragement (as ever) on the AW, and her husband may be interested in it too.

So I left church with my eyes wide open looking out for anything else the universe may want to bring to my attention. And it hadn't finished with me yet...

The family went round to my Dads Sunday afternoon to celebrate his 81st birthday and there on top of a pile of books was... Huckleberry Finn. I had to sit down.. I began to feel like Mark Twain was stalking me!

Wow powerful stuff indeed. Really enjoying this week in particular, and although there is alot to get through, I am finding it really fascinating. Anyone else expereinced sinchronicity?

PS am about to listen to my sons audio version of Huckleberry Finn, as I've realised that I've never read it...

[Victoria Trott]

Hi Gina. I too went to see the new Woody Allen film and it was a really inspirational movie for me - made me think of good times in Barcelona last year and, like Cristina, I'm developing my photography at the moment. I've been having trouble with motivation this week and this film gave me the kick I needed. An artist's date is a really useful tool - some work, some don't but it keeps you moving forward.

[BiancaRocha34]

I had a dream to start my organization, but I didn't earn enough amount of cash to do that. Thank goodness my colleague told to take the home loans. Therefore I took the term loan and made real my dream.